Disclaimer

This is a personal weblog. The opinions expressed here represent my own and not necessarily those of others, including my employer. In addition, my thoughts and opinions change from time to time…I consider this a necessary consequence of being female and having a brain. This blog is intended to provide a semi-permanent point in time snapshot and manifestation of the general bullshit running around inside my head. As such, any thoughts and opinions expressed within out-of-date posts may not be the same, nor even similar, to those I may hold today. In other words, I change my mind. Deal with it.

Personal relationships & privacy

Don’t assume you know everything there is to know about me simply because you read my blog on a regular basis. Any judgements you make will be based on the information I have provided you about myself, and you can assume it’s vague, incomplete or just plain bullshit.

If I write about you and you don’t appreciate it, approach me about it. Stay calm. Even though I might not listen, you can explain that you are entitled to your privacy as well. Sometimes there are compromises that can be reached from using vague nicknames to maintain your anonymity. If you are upset because I am writing shitty things about you, be reasonable, and try to understand that it’s probably because you’re a fucking idiot. If that doesn’t seem to be possible, then stop coming to this website, unless you’re a sucker for self-inflicted punishment. I’ll probably keep referencing you for no other reason but to serve as a reminder to myself of how much of a fucktard you really are, and because I know you’re reading it.

Ex-lovers, bad friends and estranged family members who have been cut out of my life should really refrain from reading my blog. If our relationship has ended, there is no reason why you should get regular updates on my life. If you simply can’t help yourself, then *sigh* fine…but you really should seek out a therapist. I have a few good ones I can pass along if need be.

Feedback & initiating contact

Leave your comments ON the blog. As much as I may enjoy you emailing me, don’t. Don’t text me. Don’t Facebook me. Don’t tweet me.

Never assume I owe you any response. Don’t take it personally, because chances are it has more to do with me being a bitch than anything else. If you get upset and nasty about feeling rejected, you will probably ruin any chances you had of sleeping with me anyway.

Don’t delude yourself into thinking that you will be as important to me as I may be to you. Remember, you are peering in on my life, reading my thoughts, and even though I may become quite special to you, you remain a nobody to me. If I am cold or unreceptive to your advances, keep in mind that I’m an Ice Queen and I might be simply ignoring you. It’s entirely my choice. Chances are, I’ll think you’re just another nut job and depending on where I am in my life, I might date you.

Don’t be a psycho stalker.

I already have a couple. I don’t need anymore. If you are one of my psycho stalkers, I am seriously recommending you get a life – I am NOT your soul mate and you really need to let that shit go. That’s all I have to say about that.

Offensive language and materials

The internet is a place that encourages free and creative expression, and as in any environment where people are given this freedom, shit usually hits the fan. If I use language or materials that offend you, leave. I have been known to use offensive language such as fuck, shit, bitch, motherfucker, asshole, dickbrain, fucktard, etc. In some instances, I will asterisk out a letter….but that’s all mood dependent. And generally speaking, if I’m blogging it’s because I’m pissed, and then I’m in no mood to save you from my dirty mouth.

Copyright

Never use anything off my site unless I say otherwise. If you do, ask first. If I say “sure baby”, then go nuts but just reference me (link to me).

No piggybacking

Don’t comment on my blog just to promote yours. That fucking pisses me off. If I think your blog is good, I will link to it from mine. But don’t you go climbing onto my back expecting me to carry your sorry ass, cus I won’t.

2 Comments on Disclaimer

  1. Wayne
    April 10, 2010 at 3:51 pm (7 years ago)

    LOL! Glad I read this…it’s actually one of your more entertaining pieces!

  2. Justin Van Leeuwen
    August 25, 2010 at 3:16 pm (7 years ago)

    I was about to tweet you on how much I like your disclaimer, then read more of your disclaimer.

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